Reblog if you’re 5’3”—-I wanna follow you :)

skinnysweetpea:

down-to-90:

The short people must stick together :)

me!

(Source: watch-meshrink, via lattesandtinylegs)

i need to start over. this isn’t working for me.

this blog got me through some pretty hard times, and just when i thought i was getting better—it comes back to slap me in the face.

i need to lose weight, and i need to find a way that won’t kill me to do it.

hi everyone.

i know it’s been forever since i’ve been on, but today was the first time i read my entire blog since the day i logged off a couple months ago.

i was sick. i may not have had an eating disorder, but i was getting to that point. i was literally making myself throw up because i was that disgusted with myself. do you know how sad that is? just think about it. making your body betray itself because you were HUNGRY. 

as humans, we need food. we need it to survive, i don’t care what anyone says. food is not coffee, diet coke, sugar-free gum and diet pills. that’s all food was for me at one point in my life. hell, food was nothing to me at one point in my life. i remember starving myself for a week straight, and dropping almost 5+ lbs. i never knew it could be so easy, the concept was so simple! don’t eat, lose weight. what could go wrong?

i wasn’t getting enough iron. i was falling behind in all of my vitamins and daily nutrients. i avoided carbs and meat like they were diseases. i had to go in for a check-up one day, and my doctor looked at me and asked me if i was eating lately. and you know what i said? nothing. my stomach growled. and i closed my eyes and laid back on the bed and started to cry. in front of the doctor and my mother and in my head, the entire world. i was so ashamed. who the fuck was i turning into? i went to a friend’s house a couple days later and had a slice of pizza and maybe a handful of popcorn because they had no idea what i was doing to my body, and i didn’t want to make it obvious or be rude.

i woke up the next morning, stepped on the scale, and gained 9 lbs back. to this day, i’ve never felt such a feeling in my life. i’ve never felt more low, more pathetic, more fat. i knew i had to change my life, otherwise i’d either end up dying of some fucking organ failure or gaining back double what i’d end up losing.

so i started eating. slowly, but surely. soft foods, liquid foods, i started bringing meat and bread back into my life. fruits, vegetables, salads, fat-free foods. i knew that i’d still need some fats, but i kept those to a minimum because i never felt the need to fill myself with sugary foods or mcdonald’s. i started to exercise, slow walking. faster walking, running, elliptical, daily push-ups, sit-ups, leg lifts. 

i started feeling better. i started looking better. i think it was about a month of doing all of this, and yeah, the exercise was hard at first, but now i’m much more physically fit than i was when i was starving myself and i’ve noticed that where i was soft in muscle, i’m more toned. i started noticing a difference. and one day i was in the bathroom looking for a towel somewhere and i came across my scale. i hadn’t remembered that scale in a long time, because truth be told it’s always scared the shit out of me. i based my life on a number, because i thought it represented who i was. let me tell you guys something, the number on that scale means nothing if you’re not comfortable with the way you look.

i stepped on the scale, and it took me awhile to finally build up the courage to fucking look DOWN. once i did, i was blown away. i had lost 15 lbs, and not even realized it. of course i noticed a difference in myself, but i hadn’t known it would just come off like that. i didn’t believe it, so i stepped on at least 5 more times to confirm it. i think i’ve weighed myself maybe twice more since that day because i no longer go on a number, i go on how i feel in my favorite pair of jeans or shirt. i’m no longer constantly concerned of how fat i am, but rather how much better i’m feeling about myself. i’m not tired 24/7, i no longer have a pale complexion, i actually look as alive as i feel.

for those of you out there starving yourself, take a moment to hear me out here. do you want to spend the rest of your life eating insanely small portions of food, or having to constantly think about food wherever you go and whatever you’re doing? you’re counting calories in your sleep, during your work, when you’re driving. what kind of life is that? that isn’t a life, that’s a problem. i advise you to seek help, please, that is not healthy for you. it never will be. don’t pay attention to the small 70lb girls you see all over the internet because even those girls aren’t that skinny. beautiful is feeling comfortable with who you are, and you should all feel beautiful. because you are. you’re strong and wonderful and you can stop this before it takes your life.

eat. just fucking eat. i know it’s hard, but start slow. you can do it. eat and exercise and i can guarantee you that you will not gain 10 lbs when you want a little treat. you go through those hunger pains, you go through not eating days at a time, you’re strong. i know this, the entire world knows this. be more strong, and take your life by the reins. have control. be healthy. it will pay off, i promise.

lastly, i just wanted to thank everyone on this blog who as ever been there for me. i have tons of lovely messages in my ask box from people who went through the same thing as me, people who have seeked help, and people who are living their lives without their weight on their brain all day. you are all lovely, whether you think so or not, and you all have the power to change your life in the blink of an eye. you may not believe me, and i don’t blame you, i wouldn’t have believed me three months ago. but three months ago i was at least 20 lbs heavier and struggling to get through the day. anything’s possible, just have some faith. you’ll be surprised.

<3

138.5lbs!

MY FIRST GOAL WEIGHT IS ACCOMPLISHED! ahhhhhh i feel so wonderful

"Yeah but still you will lose it all and gain it ALL back faster." - Anonymous

by exercising and eating healthy i’ll gain my weight back faster? that makes no sense. you know what im tired of? stupid people coming to my blog thinking they’re gonna teach me a lesson about how to lose weight without even reading what i have to say or how im actually going about this.

maybe if you weren’t such an ignorant person, you’d realize im not starving myself. i’ve been there, done that. lost weight, gained it all back. i want to ENJOY my life. i don’t always want to be obsessing about calories or worrying about binges or dealing with hunger pains. im eating right, im drinking loads of water, im exercising every single day and i can feel the change in my muscles and in myself when i look in the mirror. i just need to give this time, im only on the 3rd day of this jillian michaels’ 30day shred workout video. so please, stop trying to teach me a lesson about how to lose weight when i already know. im not starving myself. i eat when im hungry, i stop when im full. do you read when im saying? i eat. i fucking eat. now take your ignorance somewhere else because if you didn’t even have the decency to read the last post where i linked you to an explanation, then you don’t deserve my time or reply.

i will no longer be posting questions/comments like this anymore, they will just be deleted. im tired of answering this stupid question from people who can’t go through my blog and read it for themselves. you’re not my fucking mom, go worry about your own self—im doing just fine.

"the way you are losing weight is so wrong you will ALWAYS gain it back why not eating healthy and exercising daily? instead of fasting or eating almost nothing? you will lose it slower but at least be healthy and maintain that weight." - Anonymous

http://thininspiration.tumblr.com/post/825459865/youre-not-just-eating-right-love-thats-not-eating

"it amazes me that you've only lost 5 lbs this far" - Anonymous

im not as into it as i once was, to be honest. before i was desperate, looking for any kind of way out of it. my weight has fluctuated since i gave up those ABC diets. i’ve gained weight, i’ve lost it. which is why i haven’t bothered to put up a new current weight. im on my second day of the 30day shred, though-and let me tell you something, my muscles burn like a bitch. if you’ve ever done this workout, you should know what im talking about. i believe jillian michaels was a spartan in her past life. seriously though. but it feels great and so do i, and just because the scale isn’t reading what i want to right away doesn’t mean it won’t ever get there. im trying, and that’s all that matters—because to me, it honestly does AMAZE me that i’ve lost any weight at all.

first day of driving

the instructor and this HOT GUY (of course, my luck.) came to pick me up at my house at 10 this morning and he drove us around, we picked up this girl i knew, and then it was my turn to drive. and he made me wide turn, overnight park, drive around town, and back up in straight line; pretty much what everyone does on their first lesson. and i did pretty well, or so he told me. i just need to work on looking at my blind spots, because i forget sometimes and don’t understand why one must look over their shoulder at every turn that involves a blinker. i also need to practice parking, but i have another appointment with the same guy next saturday.

oh joy. it’s not like im scared of him, i didn’t even know he lived here. apparently he’s homeschooled, which is whatever, and he’s nice of course-but he’s really weird and talks about things like cows and the instructor likes to mess around with me. alltogether, it was a nice first time driving and i hate that i worry about the little things like this, but i’ve always been like that. i guess it’s just something that happens when you have anxiety.

but im currently watching jennifer’s body and this kid in the movie looks exactly like someone i know. so weird. anyway, hope everyone’s having a great day! im gonna be doing two parts of the 30day shred today since i missed the one yesterday. and what the fuck, this movie is so stupid. 

"I've been on a 500 calorie a day diet for the past 3 days and I'm not even hungry or craving. I've lost 4 pounds. I really don't think it's unhealthy if you want to do it" - Anonymous

i dare you to eat over 1000cals one day and tell me how much of that weight you gain back. then we can talk.

"Why are you socially awkward? Stop hating people" - Anonymous

im not socially awkward, i just hate people. it works if you think about it, anon. i can get along with people if i put forth effort, but people don’t care so why should i?